By: Mr. Mecca and Joe Budden
Photo: Alexander Richter
When it comes to introspective rhymes, brutal wordplay and raw lyricism, few are better than Joe Budden. After scoring the Grammy-nominated hit “Pump It Up” with Def Jam in 2003 and flooding the mixtape market with his Mood Muzik series, the New Jersey native has had fans in the palm of his hand. But it’s been his high profile live-in relationships – formerly with model Tahiry and currently with model Esther Baxter – that have kept the media hanging on his every word.
With so much shack-up experience, we figured Joey, now 30, was the perfect person to give advice on handling the nuances of life under the same roof with your significant other.
Somewhere between promoting his latest project Mood Muzik 4: A Turn 4 The Worst and potentially signing to Shady Records as one quarter of the group Slaughterhouse, the man known as “Jump-Off” found time to give UrbLife.com some advice on keeping your house a happy home. Read on for his Top 7 Tips!
I’m a firm believer in the phrase “what you do in the dark always comes out in the light.” On top of that, my horrible memory will no longer allow me to remember what I lied about and why – and any liar will tell you, the only way to cover up your lie, is with more lies. At the end of the day, it really isn’t worth all that.
Extremely important to me, it’s much more than telling someone how you feel and why. The hardest part about this is trying to understand someone else’s logic or rationale, or even listening to it while you already have your mind made.
3. Pick your battles wisely
The older you get, the less likely you are to endure certain strains your relationship might bring. Fighting, arguing, talking, debating, disagreeing – they all require energy, so if it’s not that serious, try to act as such.
4. Great sex!
To avoid lusting others (both parties), to keep things ‘fresh’, to relieve stress and tension… great sex just alleviates sooo many intangibles. If nothing else, you should be under the assumption that one, if not most of her girlfriends will hear about your performance, or lack thereof. Haha!
5. Play your position
People take on roles… to keep things simple for me, my motto has always been: “Take care of me, and I’ll take care of us.” My lady knows the things I dislike, and tries her best to accommodate me, and vice versa. Bottom line, each person should play to their stronger qualities, it’ll help dramatically.
Know when to give your mate space, and never hesitate to let them know when you’re in need of some. It’s not to offend anyone. For me, most of time I don’t need space from her, just in general, to think – or to not think. The trick here is getting your partner to not feel slighted, and to know exactly what this time does for you and your union
These are the thing that can’t be measured, but may matter the most: confidence, self-esteem, empathy, security, stability, etc… I could easily name a lot more, but if you don’t at least attempt to work on these things, ultimately it could be the demise of that relationship.